As I said many times to my dear friend, I do not like "last times". But still, for the last time in Sweden I´m writing an article. I dunno yet what I will be about, I write as it comes.

I just finished packing my stuff, I though it would be much easier...but I had to jump on my suitcase to be able to close it. I can barely carry it myself, I guess it´s more than 30kg, and it´s HUGE. And, of course, I also have my handbagage (that contains most dirty clothes as I hadn´t time to wash) and my computer. Let´s hope there will be some nice strangers who will help me out in the train/airport/?.

Tomorrow, well, Today, I´m taking the train at 6am from Göteborg to Stockholm, and then I´m flying from Stockolm to Berlin, Germany. We 400 European exchange students have the YES - Young European  Seminar - there untill tuesday july 3rd, day I´ll be "Home Home" in France.

Though I´m bursting into tears very often because I do not want to leave, I´m looking forward being home in France now. Because this week has been quite terrible, just feeling like I couldn´t do anything but wait for my departure. Quite frustrating. And now, I haven´t anything left to do here before to go, so I just wanna go to "make it ends". To make the wait ends.

(I have to get up at 4am, that means in 3h30...I don´t think I´ll go to bed)

Lois and I had like a party at Emma´s last monday evening for "the departure of the exchange students" with people from Lois´s class and more. Started at 20:00, and at 00:00 everybody was gone except a few dudes. I didn´t really want to go, bu I went only for L, I knew I would get pissed off, once more, by the Drunk Swedish Teenagers´gang. I did less than I excpected, but still, I did. The only question they found to ask well, as everybody, in fact) is "How does it feel to go home?"...I know it´s hard to find something to say sometimes, but please think before to ask, try to be in our situation...or then just accept an ironical "Skit bra, faktiskt ! ". I didn´t want to go because I knew it would be the last party, and the last time we - I, at least - will meet them all...and that they would insist on the goodbyes and all, though I don´t really no one of them. I´ve been surprised that for the very first time (that also counts for the very LAST time), some talked to me...sorry, too late to "create links". Some cigarretts helped. I actually said goodbye to Emma when I finally left at 7:35am, after a complete night of sleep on the couch in the living room. Well, I don´t regret I went, that was an experience.

I went to the solarium with L on tuesday, for the last time. (I actaully don´t remember the last time I went to the gym - that can be an explanation for my 68kg). Ah, how good it was to be warm from top to toe, with all this fucking rain outside that lasts for days now. That was the girl who speaks French at the entry. Did I hear wrong? Did she say "jag ska sakna er!" when we left? It´s amazing how kind Swedes are, and how simple it is for them to say "I´ll miss you" though they dunno the person they´re talking to.

After reflexion, I think I found something out. If you wanna get to know a Swedish person, just tell him/her you´re leaving atthe end of the week, and the Swede will immediately enter in contact with you. 11months to figure it out, eh! To the Swedes who are reading : I´m kidding, yeah.

After that we went to Åhléns Café, well, "our café", where I ate my last choklad boll.

And in the evening I took the bus to Göteborg, for the last time. Dear reader, don´t get pissed off when I´m saying "last time" everywhere, I know. But otherwise the beginning of the article would have no sens! I slept over at Joakim´s, though he has to get up at 4:30am to go to work. Without having been able to sleep because of me, moving too much and punching him. Poor him ^^

I met L and Anna in town in the late afternoon, went to Café Tintin, a last time, had some cake and tea. We tried to go to the cinema but 2 were close "pga sommar semester", or too expensive, and the films weren´t nice anyway. So we ended up at Fröken Ohlsson, a last time, and had tea, again. I went back "home" at Joakim´s and slept there, for the last time.

Hum...Home Home is home in France, home is at my host fam´s, and "home" is at J´s because I kinda hum "live" there sometimes (well, "livED"...).

So yeah, I cameback home around 6pm, as I left him och min kära stan Göteborg around 4:30pm. Today was so nice, with laughs and tears, smiles and...tears. I was moved. He walked me to the tram station, waited 10 minutes there, and then the tram came. I managed not to cry then. A last hug, a last kiss, "take care, we keep in touch" and I was on the tram, not able to touch him or feel him anymore. And it was taking me away from him. Definitely. He was standing there, staring at the tram to look for me...and he saw me when the tram passed by, we both smiled and waved. And as soon as I turned my head I just bursted into tears. And kept doing it untill I got home. And still now...

I´m happy I´m not leaving Lois now, that would be far too much emotions for now.

I really hope the weekend in Germany will be worth, that I won´t lose any of my lugages (lol Claire), or have some delayed flights like in Budapest...and that it will feel great to be Home Home after those 46 weeks away.

The packing part drove me crazy, but I´m finally done. I´ll now try to get some sleep though I have to get up in less than 3 hours now, and probably won´t sleep...but anyway.